Tag Archives: reason

Thirty Going On Infinite

There are eight months before I bid goodbye

To just the second decade of my life

Yet, I feel infinitely old

Weighed down by an invisible hand on my heart

I struggle to sense authenticity in

Anything I feel now

I feel like a fake particularly when I laugh

I fear the tightening around my throat

When I struggle to let loose the words

That crowd within me

And when I do manage to say something

The release brings me no relief

Instead, I find I dislike the sound of myself

And the grass seems greener when I don’t utter a word

*****

I now know that most people don’t listen

They only talk, often without listening to themselves either

And there are a few, like me, who are born

To just listen and offer no comment

To just speak when spoken to

To just breathe until I don’t have to

 

 

 

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With(out) You

Everyday I come home
I forget your absence
I open the door
To an empty shell
Which reminds me of
Your presence

There are no hugs
And deep sighs
The couch is cold
Without you on it
Smiling your
Come to me smile

My words are meaningless
For they aren’t answering
Your endless questions;
My jokes are bereft of
Your scandalized chiding
And my walls are silent
Without your echoing laughter

My city of a decade
Seems alien without you
The roads are barren
With snow and without you
Even the river isn’t flowing
Without your love

Within a year you’ve become
So much more to me
The magic of my days
The reason behind my work
The answer to my prayers
The life in my life
And in these days away
From you
I am but a memory of
You and me